A couple of months ago I wrote an article entitled “navigating through toxic relationships”. I made a few arguments and highlighted a few signs one could use to measure any relationship based on them and get a pretty good idea about the number of toxic relationships one has in life. Once you discover any, the next step is to decide if the best way to go is to try and save them, or to end them. Check the article here http://thechampsmind.blogspot.com/2011/04/navigating-through-toxic-relationships.html
As a voracious reader of books on various topics, and articles on print and online, and a listener to lots of audio tapes from great speakers and writers in the field of personal development and self help resource; I draw an inference that ‘Quitting’ has gotten a really bad rap. Life in general is filled with rhetoric about how bad it is to give up on something. Truth is, giving up on the wrong things is just as crucial as committing to the right ones. Being able to see the difference and cutting those bad pieces out of your life can help you recover a significant amount of time and energy to pour into the good parts.
The better part?
Deciphering between the two is actually really easy. If something you’ve committed to is making you unhappy and you can’t objectively see it making you happy in the future, then it’s toxic for you and you ought to quit. Your gut feeling is more valuable than most think.
Actually quitting, though, is hard and awkward. Luckily, when you decide to quit something that’s wrong for you, there are a few things you can do to be sure you actually go through with it and even get something valuable out of the process.
Here are some tips on Dignified Quitting.
1. Commitment
Commit to quitting. This is the first and most important part of the whole process. We all know the danger of “indecisiveness” when we’ve committed to something, but it’s an even bigger problem when you’re trying to quit something.
This usually happens because you feel bad about giving up on something you think is important to you, but only half-quitting will drag you even further down.
Make the decision to quit and stick to it. Do your thinking ahead of time and commit to it. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in a self-made prison where something that was taking up your time and not getting you anywhere is still not getting you anywhere and still taking up your time. The idea is to completely free yourself so that you can focus all your attention on starting something new.
2. Tie up loose ends
Of course, in order to be completely free of commitments, you’ll probably have to do a little bit of extra work to be rid of them. Don’t be afraid of that; you’ve made your decision and hopefully based it on sound reasoning. Now, you want to quickly take care of any loose ends that need to be addressed before shelving the whole project.
Look for the things that could come back to bite you if you set them aside half finished. This doesn’t mean you have to finish them. Instead, get creative about how to find an early ending point.
Remember, you’re performing triage here. If it’s not vital, stop doing it immediately. If it is vital and needs to be addressed, take care of it as quickly and efficiently as possible. No need to go for perfect anymore as done will do.
This is the stage where it’s easy to get sucked back into the project. Tread lightly and remember why you’re quitting.
3. Inform , Inform, Inform All.
Let all affected partied be informed of your decision. This is where things get a little uncomfortable and a little bit messy at times, but doing it right can be the difference between success and failure on the next thing.
Take the time to get in touch with everyone that’s impacted by your decision to quit. Be gracious and talk to people honestly and authentically. This could be team members, superiors, customers, outside stakeholders, and anyone else that has to change something they’re doing as a result.
Be firm with your decision and don’t allow yourself to be sucked back in. Guilt can play a prime role in this stage, but remember that you’re making the best decision for yourself and everyone else.
If you do this right, you can actually build your reputation by showing your good judgment and ensure plenty of support the next time you commit to something.
4. Take Time Out.
Once you’ve finally broken free from a toxic commitment, Take time out to Evaluate and reflect. The last thing you want to do is tie yourself to another one with the same fatal blemishes. Take enough time to really look at all the factors that went into your decision to quit and turn them into concrete warning signs that you can use in the future to evaluate new projects and commitments.
Before you jump into the next big thing, go down your list and look for those warning signs in all the nooks and crannies. Don’t be surprised if you find some. Anything you do that’s important will come with some unknowns, but make sure that you can address them objectively. The point is to be able to say to yourself, “I saw this problem, and here’s the game plan I have to deal with it.”
No matter what it is, quitting is never easy, but it’s a lot more important than it gets credit for. Everyone gets trapped by something they shouldn’t be doing once in a while. If you stay levelheaded and quit strategically, you can quickly be on your way to doing things that really matter to you. Now you have it, It’s totally okay to quit the wrong things as well as important to commit yourself to the right ones.
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